Question: How do I talk to my friend who is struggling in their finances about the spiritual discipline of tithing?
Answer: Here are some practical steps: Know what you believe from the Bible. Make sure you are practicing before preaching. Pray for an open door. Share your testimony. End the conversation with an invitation for continued conversation. Leave in God’s Hands.

Let’s break this down.

Tithing can feel like one of the most awkward spiritual conversations to have—especially with a close friend. It involves money, spiritual conviction, and obedience to God. But if handled with grace, truth, and humility, it can open a door for greater spiritual growth and trust in the Lord.

The Spiritual Discipline of Tithing.

Tithing, at its core, is not about money—it’s about the heart. Throughout Scripture, we see God using tithing as a way to teach His people trust, gratitude, and stewardship.

Here are several passages that lay the foundation:

(Malachi 3:10) “Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the LORD Almighty…”

This is one of the only times in Scripture where God invites His people to “test” Him—promising His provision when we walk in obedience.

(Proverbs 3:9-10) “Honor the Lord with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops; then your barns will be filled to overflowing…”

Tithing is a form of honor—putting God first, even with our finances.

(2 Corinthians 9:6-7) “Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”

While the tithe is a starting place, the New Testament emphasizes joyful generosity rooted in grace.

From Genesis (Abraham gives a tenth to Melchizedek – Gen. 14:20) to Jesus affirming giving (Matt. 23:23), Scripture shows that tithing isn’t about legalism—it’s about lordship.

Common Objections to Tithing—and How to Respond.

Talking to a friend about tithing means anticipating their honest objections. Here are a few common ones—and how to respond with grace:

Objection 1: “Tithing was part of the Old Testament law. We’re under grace now.”

Response: That’s true—we are under grace. But grace doesn’t lead to less generosity. It leads to more. Jesus affirmed giving (Matthew 23:23) and the early church was radically generous (Acts 4:32-35). Tithing is a helpful starting point, not the finish line.

Objection 2: “I don’t make enough to tithe right now.”

Response: God never asks us to give what we don’t have, only what we do have (2 Cor. 8:12). Tithing is about faith and firstfruits—even if it’s small, starting with obedience trains our hearts to trust God as our provider.

Objection 3: “I don’t trust churches with money.”

Response: This is a valid concern in some cases. It’s important to belong to a church that is transparent and accountable. But don’t let mistrust rob you of the spiritual blessings of generosity. Giving is ultimately to the Lord, not just an organization.

Objection 4: “I give in other ways—like my time or serving.”

Response: Serving is vital—but it’s not a replacement for financial giving. Each form of generosity is part of a full life surrendered to God. We need to give with our time and our treasure.

Action Steps: How to Begin the Conversation.

Talking to a friend about tithing shouldn’t feel like an intervention. It should feel like a discipleship conversation—one friend helping another grow in Christ. Here are some practical steps to do this well:

Step 1: Pray First.

Ask God for wisdom, humility, and the right timing. You’re not trying to win an argument—you’re trying to plant a seed. Also, check your heart through prayer. Sincerely ask yourself, “Why do I want to engage in this conversation?”

(James 1:5) “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God…”

Step 2: Know What God’s Word Says.

Look over the Scriptures listed above. Make sure you have settled in your own heart why we honor God with our finances. This will help you reach out from a place of settled confidence in the power of God’s Word and not just opinion.

Step 3: Lead with Your Story.

Start by sharing your own journey. “Hey, can I share something that’s been changing my perspective lately?” Talk about how tithing has helped you trust God more, not just about money.

Example: “For years I struggled with giving regularly, but once I started tithing, it reshaped my understanding of provision and obedience. It’s been more freeing than I expected.”

Step 4: Point to Scripture Gently.

Because of you have studied God’s Word for yourself (in step 2), you will be ready. Offer to explore what the Bible says together.

Ask, “Have you ever thought about what the Bible says about giving?” This keeps it relational, not preachy.

Tip: Recommend a short devotional or share a verse like Malachi 3:10 and ask, “What do you think this means?”

Step 5: Encourage a Starting Point

Many people feel overwhelmed by the idea of tithing. Encourage your friend to start somewhere. Maybe it’s 5%, maybe it’s simply giving something consistently. The goal is obedience, not perfection. God doesn’t need our money—He wants our hearts. Tithing is just one way we say, “God, I trust You.”

Step 6: Keep the Conversation Open

Don’t expect one conversation to change everything. This is a journey of discipleship. Offer to pray together about it or check in later.

Something to say: “Let’s both pray this week that God shows us how to grow in generosity. I’d love to hear what He shows you.”

BOTTOM LINE.

The goal of this conversation isn’t to guilt your friend—it’s to grow with them. We’re all learning to surrender different parts of our lives to Jesus. Tithing is just one of those steps.

Be patient. Be kind. Be Scriptural. Most of all, be prayerful.

God doesn’t bless giving out of obligation. He blesses hearts that give out of love and trust.

Helpful Resources: